all

forgive me
if you can hear me
please forgive me

in the quiet of the night
in the calm of the morning
i'm sorry
i wish i could turn back time.

i love you
i know you knew
how i loved you

in the little things
what each day would bring
i know you knew
But i wish it was for me inside.

i'm sorry
my one, my only
i'm so sorry

in the time that's rolling
in my life that keeps going
i wish i could show you now
to have you see me
to have you know
my heart.

But now i can only cry
it's so undeserving.
and so I am sorry -
A thousand times.

--Angie Blackschleger

2-27-09

hide

i'm sorry
i am
though i yell
though i'm mad
i can't get through
thats all i can do
is yell at you

i'm sorry
i really am
i don't hate you
i'm just so sad
i dont know how to deal
i cannot heal
all i want is the truth

i'm sorry
i am
the mean things i say
its not how i am
i tell you to go
i force myself to stay
maybe this is the only way

i'm sorry
so sorry
i hope you understand
i just love you
so much
and it doesnt make sense to me
why you 'just cant'


3-19-09

shame - stabbing westward

so anyway...
i first read these lyrics years and years ago and i loved them . i always thought it was linkin park but i could never find the song. finally i just discovered it isnt linkin park and i finally heard the actual song. i dont really like it.
i just like the words. p.s.
i'm being super emo right now so...yeah. if you dont like it go away.






I only see myself reflected in your eyes
So all that I believe I am essentially are lies
And everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was
Died with your belief in me so who the hell am I?

I don't know if I am real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know what's real without you
How can I exist without you?

I'm wanderin' 'round confused
Wondering why I try
The more that you deny my pain
The more it intensifies...
I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...
If you ignore that I'm alive
I've nothing to cling to

I don't know if I am real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

I stare into this mirror
So tired of this life
If only you would speak to me or care if I'm alive
Once I swore I would die for you
But I never meant like this
I never meant like this
no i never meant like this

I don't know if I am real without you
What is left of me without you?
I don't know whats real without you
How can I exist without you?

listen

:(

don't know what to say

just my heart

it hurts

i want to cry

maybe a bottle of vodka will help

why them?

it's not so much a poem...

i tried
so hard
to keep you
i tried
so hard
to make you
love me
hear me
see me
but all i saw
you do
was simply
walk alway.
i thought
we could dance
to no music
i thought
we could match
but we
are different
species.
maybe i
was wrong
maybe you
were too young
maybe
maybe
maybe...
what does it matter
in the long run?
all the things
i built up
all came crashing down.
birds are made
to fly
fish can only
swim
i cannot make you be
what i need
this time
i cannot win.
perhaps
i shouldnt be sorry
perhaps
there is no blame
to place
i shouldnt make
it worse
there's nothing left
to say.
i guess it still
is something
if nothing else
than to learn
and through it all
i've realised -
not maybe...
love isn't supposed
to hurt.

maybe you'll understand...

please
just stay away
stay where you are
far gone
from me.
its not what i planned
its out of my hands
to see you again
i don't think i can

i feel so torn
i'm feeling scared
i feel so anxious
so unprepared
and yet i don't know
how i feel at all
all i know is
i don't want to fall
in love with you
all over again

please
stay where you are
a long
lost memory
i like it where
it isnt there
to confront me
face to face.
so please
just stay away
for my sake
so my heart
won't break
all over again

it's taking so long
for it to mend
please don't come back
and make it start again
please
just stay away
stay where you are
stay so far
away from me

i'm not so brave
i think i'll just cave
i don't feel safe
with seeing you again

--Angie Blackschleger
march 09

i just

love this song









All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down
And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'as I passed down by your street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
I'm never coming down, I'm never going down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

on another note...

this is another katy perry song i think is so good.
love everything about it.
love katy perry right now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebh6FL0vo44

just :(

so...the good news is i got another day at work.
the bad news is Jerome isnt working there anymore! :(
this is very sad...
he's been working there since the place opened (14 years ago)
he knows all the ins and outs of the place, customers come JUST for him...
hes an AWESOME waiter...if i ever saw one.
anyway...im just very saddened by this
:(
if you knew him you would know why

my first car crash

yeah...just kidding (about my muse).

so anyway i'm tra la la driving home today from work
and all the sudden (i dont know how it happened..say...texting?) this car is stopped right in front of me so i slam on my breaks and JUST as i'm "whew, close one"... BAM!!
the car behind me slams into me.
ugh.
oh well at least i'm a hundred bucks richer. screw getting the car fixed. hehe.

thinking of you...

two yellow butterflies
fluttering by
the morning after
as i cried
thinking of you.
the song in my mind
if you can hear me
show me a sign
please send me a butterfly
or two.

was it true?
was it you?
I almost knew...

two yellow butterflies
right by my side
as i cried
thinking of you
was that my sign
you're still close by
did you hear my cry
did you float on by
in the form of
those two yellow butterflies?

right beside me
as they flew
i thought of you
how it could be true
i almost knew...

--Angie Blackschleger

3-4-09

hrmmm

i think my muse is gone
:(